


Won't Go Home Without You

by alienofficial



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Athena Grant is a blessing, Background Relationships, Bobby Nash Being a Dad, Car Accidents, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Ten Years Later, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienofficial/pseuds/alienofficial
Summary: “Now, he’s talking almost like normal,” she crouched down in front of him and laid a comforting hand on his arm, continuing like she couldn’t tell Eddie's world had just been tipped on its axis for the second time. “And he said he doesn’t feel much. We decided to leave the truck to give you as much time as possible to be with him. Bobby’s been keeping him company for now.”“Are you telling me,” he started, forced to stop and take a few breaths when his throat tightened. “Are you telling me this is the last time I’m gonna speak to my husband?”A beat goes by, and then, “yes.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 56
Kudos: 206





	Won't Go Home Without You

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic like 6 months ago honestly but last nights episode really sparked my motivation... also I'm procrastinating writing a different fic
> 
> This takes place 10 years in the future! Christopher is around 17/18 and Buck/Eddie got married post s3.
> 
> Inspiration for this comes from the movie Signs, and the title comes from Maroon 5's Wont Go Home Without You.

Driving up to the scene is a moment Eddie knows will be etched in his brain for the rest of his life.

First responders are scattered all over the place, most along the caution tape to help enforce the boundary between public access and the crime scene. There’s a couple policemen talking to who he assumes are witnesses to the crash, and another group of them huddled around a man sitting on the sidewalk, head bowed and held between his hands. 

Hesitant steps took him forward to the crashed truck where he could see Bobby. 

“ _Bobby?” Eddie asked as he answered the phone. It wasn’t unusual to get a call from the captain on his day off, but typically they were limited to the day-time. It was late enough that Eddie was already getting ready for bed, and was only waiting for Buck to get back from his walk so they could go to bed together._

_“Eddie,” Bobby croaks, and immediately Eddie is on red alert. His back straightens and he’s fully awake now, because that was Bobby’s_ “something terrible has happened” _voice. “Eddie, there’s been an accident.”_

“Hi, sweetheart,” Eddie is snapped from his memories when Athena approaches. Her eyes shone with tears, but her voice was steady as she spoke, as always. She wasn’t in uniform, he noticed. She must have been with Bobby when he got the call. “Bobby’s talking to him right now, why don’t you take a seat and I’ll explain what happened before you go over?”

There’s a numbness in his head that makes him feel as though he has no choice but to agree, nodding his head as he shuffles over to lean against the nearest squad car. Athena stood in front of him, clearly affected but trying to keep it together. Eddie’s been with her at a hundred scenes, each seemingly worse than the last, but he’s never seen her like this. To anyone who doesn’t know her, she looks strong and in control, every part the sergeant he knows her to be, but upon closer look he can see the slight shortness of breath and the trembling of her hands, hear the catch of her voice before she begins to speak.

“About 20 minutes ago the police were called to a crash where a young adult male was struck and pinned between a car and a tree. Upon arrival one of the first responders recognized him as a member of the 118 and called Bobby,” she explained. “As soon as we got here and he realized who it was, he called you.”

“So what’s the plan?” He asked, going into _on duty_ mode. “How are we getting him out?” 

He couldn’t get a good look of the crash from here, but Athena stopped him before he could get closer and start an assessment. 

“The truck that hit him has him _pinned_ against the tree, Eddie,” She said, the waver in her voice becoming more pronounced. The pit in Eddie's stomach was growing as his mind struggled to catch up with what she was saying. “His upper and lower half have been almost completely severed. That truck is the only thing holding him together.”

The world suddenly feels like it’s falling away underneath him, his knees buckling, sending him sliding to the ground against the car as his eyes burned with fresh tears. His ears were ringing as he tried to process what this meant. 

“Now, he’s talking almost like normal,” she crouched down in front of him and laid a comforting hand on his arm, continuing like she couldn’t tell Eddie's world had just been tipped on its axis for the second time. “And he said he doesn’t feel much. We decided to leave the truck to give you as much time as possible to be with him. Bobby’s been keeping him company for now.”

“Are you telling me,” he started, forced to stop and take a few breaths when his throat tightened. “Are you telling me this is the last time I’m gonna speak to my husband?”

A beat goes by, and then, “yes.”

Eddie's hand claps itself over his mouth to stifle a sob, eyes closing with pain and grief. The thought of Buck dying on a call had been one of Eddie’s recurring nightmares throughout the years, even before they really became a _them_. He had never thought to fear a death that could have happened off-duty. It’s a little ironic, he thinks, that both the people he’d married had their lives cut short by a car crash. 

“Maddie,” he gasped out, righting himself and trying to gain enough courage to walk over and speak to his husband. “Did somebody call Maddie?”

“Bobby tried getting a hold of her but she never picked up. He called Chimney, and he’s on his way to her apartment to pick her up and bring her over as soon as they can get here.” She explained. Eddie nodded his head along with the explanation, sending a silent prayer that she makes it in time. 

The Buckley kids only had each other growing up, and not being able to say goodbye would crush Maddie. 

Just as Eddie was gaining his courage to head over and take Bobby’s place by Buck’s side, the man himself walked up and pulled Eddie into a tight hug. The embrace was strong and grounding and made Eddie feel as though this was the only thing keeping him from shattering. As he pulled back he noted the way Bobby’s eyes were red and irritated, the tear tracks on his cheeks being covered by new ones. His heart went out to Bobby at this moment, a man who lost both his kids and just said goodbye to another. 

“He’s ready to speak to you, whenever you can head over,” he says into Eddie's ear. 

He wants to argue that he’s never gonna be ready for this, never gonna be ready to say goodbye to the man he was prepared to spend the rest of his life with. The thought of taking the steps to the crash made his knees weak and his breathing quicken, but deep down Eddie knew every moment he spent trying to gain the courage to walk over was another moment he was losing with Buck. 

First responders cleared out of his way as he passed, familiar with the look of a grieving spouse from their own years on the force. Each of them had their helmets off and held over their hearts, some mouthing prayers under their breath and some just attempting to give Eddie encouraging or understanding nods. Each step closer felt like walking a thousand miles, his feet heavy and his mouth dry.

“Hey, baby,” he says when he reaches Buck’s side and reaches his hand out to tangle in Buck’. His stomach squeezed painfully at the sight of his husband whose skin was visibly pale and clammy while his upper body was bent over the hood of the car. He didn’t have the heart to look any lower than his chest and closer at where exactly he was pinned, didn’t want to see where his husband was nearly cut in half. He refused to damage what would be his last memory of him in that way. 

“Eddie,” Buck breathed out, a small smile on his face. “I was hoping I’d get to see you.” His voice was soft and eyes hazy, the blood loss already starting to take effect. His hand was trembling in Eddie’s in an attempt to squeeze it.

“Of course, Evan,” he responded. “Couldn’t miss a chance to see you again. Partners through life ‘til death.” Buck’s smile was starting to waver. The sight of it sent Eddies heart racing, his hand gripping tighter in an attempt to hold on. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck croaked. “In all the reckless ways I thought I would die, going on a walk was not on the list.”

Eddie couldn’t help the small bark of hysterical laughter that escaped him as he tried to hold back his tears. Of course, even bleeding out Buck’s priority was to make it easier on Eddie. 

“It’s not your fault, baby,” Eddie said. He was using his other hand now to run his fingers through Buck’s hair, following a pattern he knows well. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m assuming _‘like I got hit by a truck’_ is a little too on the nose?” Buck attempted to laugh but a cough fought it’s way up instead, blood splattering out against the white hood of the truck. “I’m ok, Eddie. It doesn’t hurt.”

Eddie only has to raise an eyebrow for him to give another watery smile and mend his statement with “ _much_ ”.

A quick sweep of his eyes over Buck’s upper body was telling him that he was quickly running out of time. His already pale skin seemed to somehow be getting paler and his breathing had picked up to short and shallow gasps. His heart was breaking, but he refused to lose his cool yet. He had to hold on for just a little longer, to be strong, if not for himself then for Buck.

“You have to– you have to tell Chris that I’m– I’m sorry,” Buck gasped out. “I promised– I promised I’d stay.” 

“He’ll understand,” Eddie tried to reassure him. “I’m sorry he’s not here to say goodbye.” Bucks eyes were completely unfocused now, his grip on Eddie's hand switching between tight and almost non-existent. 

“And– and Maddie,” his voice was quiet. “Tell her– I tried to hold on.” 

It took Eddie a few seconds to respond. Eyes closed, he took a few deep breaths. Both of his hands moved to grip Buck’s, 

“I will, Buck.”

There’s a moment, in those few last seconds, where Buck seems to be fine. His eyes blink back open, focus on Eddie, and his grip tightens one last time. A gentle smile and a very soft “ _I love you_ ” makes its way past Buck’s lips before he releases one last breath and goes completely still.

A sob is ripped out of Eddie’s throat before he can even process that it’s about to happen, a broken “ _Evan”_ that catches on it’s way out. There’s arms wrapping around him, gently pulling him away from Buck’s body and into their embrace, and Eddie doesn’t hesitate to turn in the hold and bury his face in the neck of the man holding him. Bobby’s aftershave is strong and calming, and his arms feel like the only things still holding Eddie together. They stand together in mourning before they hear a shout.

“ _Buck!_ ” 

Maddie.

Eddie has just enough time to pull away from Bobby and get in front of Maddie to wrap his arms around her to keep her from seeing the body. He holds her tighter as she attempts to pull away, her fists hitting against his chest and sobbing into his shoulder at the same time. He tries to console her with hushed words but it’s hard to be reassuring as he grieves. He can feel Bobby’s arm wrap around both of them, and then Athena and Chimney’s. Eddie knows the group must be quite a sight but he can’t bring himself to truly care.

If he had only been faster he could have gotten a few more minutes, a longer conversation, one more smile. The image of Buck holding on and trying to be brave for him was seared into his mind, the pained smile and lies of not feeling anything racing across his brain. Even on the brink of death, Buck was still looking out for Eddie.

“He tried Maddie,” he croaked into her ear. “He tried.” Maddie finally gives in and quits hitting him to instead hold on to him with all her might. She was still crying into his shoulder and he felt helpless knowing the only thing he could do was hold her and grieve together. 

Things move in a blur for the next couple hours. The group was forced to move back in the beginning as the firefighters on duty moved forward to remove the truck and get the body out so the paramedics could take him away. A few policemen came over to ask Eddie a few questions and pass on condolences but they were sent on their way soon after by Athena. 

“You should stay with us tonight, Eddie,” Bobby says as everyone gets ready to go home. The scene has been cleared and the sight of it leaves a sick twist to Eddie’s stomach. How can it look so normal after _that_? Eddie just lost the love of his life, and it looks like any other street in LA. Tomorrow pedestrians will walk past like nothing happened, cars will pass on their way to work, and kids will ride by on their bikes, but this will always be _the tree_ to Eddie. 

A nudge to his arm brings him back to the present where his family stares worriedly at him. He struggles to remember what they were talking about, then shakes his head.

“No, I should get to Chris,” Eddie says. “He was already asleep when I left, and I thought-” he cuts himself off. He can’t bring himself to say that he thought he was protecting Chris from seeing his step-father critically hurt before they got him to the hospital, but instead was the reason he didn’t get to say goodbye. 

Everyone seems to understand anyways, each of them nodding in sympathy before they go back in for one last hug. Maddie lingers the longest, seemingly as ready to let go as he is, but eventually even they have to let go.

The drive back to the house is somehow slow and fast at the same time. Every moment without Buck seems to drag into a lifetime while the dread of going home without him speeds it back up. When he does make it to the house, he slowly approaches the door, but pauses before he opens it. The knowledge that he’s never gonna hear Buck laugh again, never taste his cooking, never feel the press of his skin against his own is starting to really settle in. He rests his head against the front door as a few tears begin to slip. He can’t even stand on his own front porch without a barrage of memories hitting him, how is he supposed to live in a house that was _theirs_?

The only thing keeping him going is the knowledge that Chris is inside, sleeping soundly, none the wiser that he’s once again lost a parent and can’t afford to lose another.

Gathering himself, Eddie slides his key into the door, and enters the house he used to call a home.

**Author's Note:**

> ......sorry about that.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr @ alienofficial


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